A New Leaf - Book One
by Badass Incorporated
Summary: Yeah yeah, a not-so-unique Human in Equestria fanfiction. BUT WAIT! This time, an different kind is sent. Brought into a new world, WITHOUT the understanding of friendship, our human faces struggles, resentment, and hatred towards our fellow equestrian friends.
1. Chapter 1

The day starts with a bang!

At least that's what I'd like to say, and every other cliche author, but no; this is a story about an asshole being sent to Equestria.

I groan as I hear my alarm clock blaring Justin Bieber into my ears. I mean seriously? Just what I needed to get the day going: the most annoying song before Hello. Rubbing my forehead, I wonder why I even have that.

Slamming my fist onto the 'Snooze' button, I get up and start my day. Dressing in a plain, but stylish clothes consisting of a dark red shirt wIth black sleeves running down my arm, black jeans made of sturdy material of which's name I don't give a fuck about, some white and red sneakers, and a black hoodie with a wolf pattern on the back.

I walked around my two story house, not sure what I am gonna do today, since it's Saturday, and there are generally no good television shows on right now, unless you count Wow Wow Wubzy and/or other shows for two-year old's. There's no way I would watch the news, since it's always the same; "'Breaking news! Some cat fell in a pile of shit! Breaking news! Some guy robbed a bank! What has humanity come to?! Breaking news! Some celebrity no one gives fuck about is being whiny bitch! Breaking news! My grandma is living in a shack in the woods eating rabbits!"

I decided I needed a break from humanIty, and that I would go for a hike in the woods, since it was close to my house. Some people says it houses a curse that makes a tall white dude with tentacles come out and get you.

Heh, idiots.

As I start to pack my stuff, I hear my phone ring, which was odd since I never gave anyone my number. Not even 'family'. I check my notifications, and it shows a message saying 'It's time.'.

...

...

...

"Of course it's time. Time for me to take a freaking hike!"

(One long and tedious hour of packing supplies later, while some cliche elevator music plays in the background with a montage)

"Finally! Why do I always leave my flashlight behind the toilet?" I ask myself as I question my sanity. Equipped with a strap on duffle bag of supplies, including water, snacks, a flashlight, and a few other things we'll talk about later. Right before I go out the front door, I remember something important: my combat knife. I go back to my room, and look in my closet for my prized possession, and strap it to my belt.

A gleaming tactical combat knife with a blood red blade and a real leather grip. This thing has saved me so many times, I don't go ANYWHERE without it.

Zip. None. Nada.

As I check to make sure I am fully prepared, I hear a faint crash, then a boom. Looking out my window, I see a rainbow circle go by in the sky. "What the fuck was THAT?!" I think aloud.

Deciding it's time for me to leg it out of here, I run out the door and into the forest in front of me. If there was for some reason a rainbow nuke dropping, I am not going to stick around. Sprinting as fast as I could, I didn't notice as the forest started to get darker and more dense. I only came back to reality when I tripped over a log.

"Oof! Damn that log!" I start to cuss out the inanimate object. "Haven't seen this part of the woods. Maybe this is where that freaky white guy resides, heh." I muse.

Rustle rustle...

I look towards the sound, and I don't see anything, until I hear a crack of a whip behind me. I twirl, whip out my knife, and slash at the sound, where I see a tall lanky figure with pale white skin.

Unlike others, I don't get scared that easily, because if there is no meaning to life, why should I be scared if I have a chance at death? "Come at me, bitch!" I taunt, and start circling him, grinning. It's been so long since I've seen fresh blood, and it's been driving me crazy. Jumping forward and taking another swipe at him, I cut a fresh gash in his torso, then jump back to try to avoid a retaliation, only to land against a inconveniently-placed tree. He looks at me with a aura of amusement.

Taking his chance, he whips a me across the face with a tentacle, which stung. Bringing my free hand to the spot of impact, I feel a thick liquid rushing down my face. That set me off, and I charged him, jumping into the air, and tackling him to the ground, where I repeatedly stab him, his muffled screams sounding like music to my ears. With one final desperate attempt to kill me, he brings me closer to him, and I feel my energy start to seep out of me.

As the world starts to darken, I see a flash of lavender, and then I was out.

 _ **Golden Oaks Library**_

"Spike! I need you to send a letter to Princess Celestial about the book of advanced teleportation!" Twilight yells down to her assistant, Spike.

"On it!" After a few seconds, Spike realizes something. "Uhh... What's the letter about again?" Spike asks dumbly. Facehooving, Twilight recites the words she wants to say.

 _"Dear Princess Celestia,_

 _I have done some research on advanced teleportation spells, and realized I might have messed up._

 _If you will, could you come down to Ponyville as soon as possible?_

 _Thanks!_

 _Your faithful student,_

 _Twilight Sparkle."_

"Aand, sent!" Spike says. "Excellent! The sooner she's here, the sooner we can decide if it's a threat or not." Twilight replies excited, but somewhat nervous, looking toward the stairs to the basement.

 _ **Unknown Location**_

I wake up with a jolt, surprised I am even alive, and try to get up. My surrounding area is pitch black, so I couldn't see a thing. My efforts of getting up is halted when I couldn't move my arms.

I was strapped down to a table.

I start to scream, trying to break the bonds, but end up fruitless. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" A light floods my vision, and I can see... a horse?

 _ **Sorry for the short beginning chapter. ._. I will try to make up for it with a longer chapter. Constructive criticism is and will be appreciated! Let me know what you think wether it be bad, good, from a review, or a private message!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey guys, Badass here, and I hope this chapter makes up for the shortness of the last one. XD**_

The lights come on, and I see... a horse?

"Umm... Why the fuck is a lavender horse with a horn and wings standing in front of me? Also, who turned on the light?" I think aloud, and my eyes grow big as another purple... simian... thing... with a tail protruding off it's ass shows up behind the pegacorn thing. "Heh, maybe I've gone insane, or is there a Pegacorn and a anthromorphic lizard in front of me?" I ask myself, or more directly, them.

 _Spikes Point of View_

Me and Twilight watch the thing with curiosity, as it mutters to itself. It was doing fine, until Twilight had the bright idea of trying to talk to it.

"Hello there, creature, I am Twilight Sparkle, or more directly Princess Twilight Sparkle." The creature just downright fainted, it's head flopping to the side in a hilarious position.

Two hours later, we're back in the basement, but this time with Celestia. "Oh my." Princess Celestia mumbles when she sees the human strapped in bonds. "I wonder if it's awake?" She asks herself as she circles around it; looking for any sign of hostility, not knowing ONE detail:

It WAS awake.

 _ **Blood thirsty humans' point of view**_

They didn't know I was awake, so my devious side came into play. When I made sure that they were all in front of me, I just lunged at them as far as I could, snarling at them.

"Raaaaghhhruj!" The anthropomorphic lizard promptly falls over, face first into the ground, and I start to chuckle. The lavender pegacorn is frozen, but the tall... white... pegacorn... with a sun on her ass... only flinched. "Ummm... Am I dead now?" I ask half nervously. I was already starting to like this world. Any place where I can prank a random person without repercussions is fine with me.

She just gives a small smile, and shakes her head. "Can I at least be out of these chains, I don't know about you, but I don't exactly find anything appealing about being strapped down against my will." I try to reason with her. "I mean, I can live out in the forest." Her smile of amusement turns into a frown. "Don't even think about going into the Everfree, as it is dangerous. Very few have survived going into that Tatarus-hole." I look at her amused. "What do you think I am? A child? FUCK NO! I am nineteen and counting." Next, she's the one who shakes her head. "You do realize I am over a thousand years old, don't you?" She claims, but I ain't falling for that bullshit. "Uhh, no you aren't." I shot back, unconvinced. "Unless you can magically control the sun and moon, making it night or day by will, I call bullshit."

It's just then that the lavender Pegacorn wakes up from her traumatic experience of being scared shitless. I am sitting sorta upright, my back hunched over because of the bonds. "Heya there, done from your ten year nap?" I ask her in a taunting voice, but I shouldn't of done that...

"I'VE SLEPT IN FOR TEN MOTHERBUCKING YEARS? QUICK! MUST. BE. ORGANIZED!" If I could, I would have facepalmed. "It was a joke, dumbass." I deadpan, and a tint of red flows onto her cheeks. "Oh. Ummm.. Well... Uhh... OhheylookatthetimeBYE!" She says, and she disappears in a flash of light.

"Can I be let out of these bonds now?" I ask, getting impatient. The tall pegacorn shakes her head. "Not until I take a look through your memorIes, and if I find that you're safe, you will be let free. If not, you will be put in the Canterlot dungeon, or worse, Tatarus." I look at her oddly. "Either one sounds good. In the dungeon, I will have the rest of my life to myself. In Tatarus, I can kill shit, so either way, I am down." I tell her. She seemed shocked at my answer, and her horn started to glow. After that, I felt a tugging at my consciousness. I focus my mind on one thing: a mule. A old, pitiful mule. With a sun tattoo on it's ass, bleating noisily. A few minutes of this and I feel the tugging go away. "I am not particularly amused." She states plainly.

...

...

...

"Mission accomplished." I say with a grin. "Okay, no more jokes, but I don't think you will find me to be the most passive of species." I warn her, and then I open my mind. I start to feel the unfamiliar tugging on my mind, and I try to resist fighting back.

 _ **Princess Celestia's Point of View**_

So far, it's not looking good. He's blocking out his name. His life was filled with hatred, resentment, and evil. I almost stopped when I see him killing another one of his species, grinning. But I see something; sadness. In every memory, he's fighting back tears, it steadily growing less and less common the father into his life he goes, until it just stopped. Now, he hardly feels true emotions.

I realised something: he would be a perfect person for the teaching of the magic of friendship.

 _ **Fucked-up human's point of view.**_

"You're safe..." I sputter, I mean, she checked my memorIes, I am most certainly NOT safe. Then she continues. "If you learn friendship." I pretty much lost it then. I fell backwards onto the bed, laughing. "What's so funny?" She asks. "Friendship, the most useless word in the universe aside from Adele." I continue my laughing fit. "Oh by the way, remove these fucking chains please?" I complain after I regained control over myself. Finally, she removes my arm chains, and I reach down to my hidden sheath, and pull out my blade. I then pull out a polishing kit from inside my duffle, and I start to polish my knife, making sure every part of it is gleaming. I then look at the white pegacorn, and decide to make a witty comment. "Am I allowed to make fat jokes?" I ask, and she frowns. "You too?" She asks in disbelief. "By the way, I am a Alicorn, not a Pegacorn." She attempted to change the subject, but it turns out to be futile. "I mean, just look at those hips. No, they are not sexy, quite the opposite actually. They're fucking hideous." I say while trying to hold in laughter. I then pull a perfect innocence face. I hear some scratchy laughter in the distance, and then some shushing afterwards. I look in the direction of the laughter and give a grin, already knowing I'd probably share the same sense of humor.

"Hey, fatty, what's your name?" I ask, certain if I make one more fat joke, I will probably be blasted into smithereens, which wouldn't be so bad, considering the circumstances. "You may refer to me as Princess Celestia, but Celestia with be fine, as you are not a subject under my rule." I nod, already thinking of a nickname. "Okay, when can I be freed? I have some hunting to do." I say, getting more and more impatient. "Two hours if you-"

"NOW!" I say, and cut the bottom bonds off, grabbing my duffle, and making a mad dash for the exit, passing by five other ponies on the way, and using a white ponies' head as a springboard, and breaking down the front door in the process, four ponies chasing after me. One rainbow maned one was flying besides me.

"You're pretty fast for a land creature." The LSD pony says in a scratchy voice, just like the one I heard earlier. "Really? Let's see if you can parkour as good as me." I taunt, and start to scale a building, jumping from ledge to ledge, until I am running on the rooftops. "Nice! Where'd you learn to do that?" She replies after keeping pace with me. "I've trained myself for this. Hey, wanna see me bolt?" I ask, and pull out a Stryker crossbow, and shoot a bolt directly into the wall in front of us, grabbing the bolt as I make a turn.

By now I am near the outskirts of the pony-infested town, and I rush into the forest, the ponified rainbow following close behind...

 _ **Hey guys, Badass here, and here's chapter two! :D I don't know if this would be considered a complete ending, but IDGAF. :3 Constructive criticism is and will be appreciated! Thainkies! Bai~~~**_


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't stop to catch my breath once, not until I was sure I have lost my pursuers. "So, why exactly are we here?" The living rainbow asks me. "It's not 'we' It's 'me'. I am going to build a shelter around here, where I will be safe." I say, and am about to go foraging, until I am knocked to the ground. Three more ponies are around me, and I groan. "God damnit."

"Y'know, we can't really have a wild animal runnin' around Equestria. Much less one like yerself." A orange one babbles. "Blah blah blah blahdi do dah. That's all I hear from you." I taunt. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I got a place to be. Ta ta." I continue, and start climbing a tree faster than King Kong.

...Only to be cannonballed by confetti.

"What. The. Hell. Just. Happened." I ask. "Hold on just a second." I say as I pull out my phone and play some music.

 _ **I tried so hard, and got so far.**_

 _ **In the end, it doesn't even matter!**_

I smile as they look around, trying to find where the music was coming from. While they were distracted, I legged it. "Smell y'all later motherfuckers!" I yell from above, and then I was gone.

 _ **Applejack's Point of View**_

 _Shoot! That bipedal vermin got away AGAIN! He's trickier than Discord and Pinkie combined! Ugh... Maybe I should just take a breather and go back to the farm? I'm outta here!_ I start to head out, but then I hear a scream in the distance.

 _ **Sociopathic human's point of view**_

I was heading in the direction of the scream. I could get some amusement out of watching a innocent dying, but killing is more fun. The thought of either one made me grin, and sprint faster. Running into a clearing, I smile when I see three wood-like wolves cornering a orange filly with purple hair. My smile turns to a frown when I spot the fillies' eyes.

I needed to help her.

I can't let her die.

Whipping out my knife, I run towards to wolves. Stabbing one in the back of the head, it crumpled to the forest floor, catching the attention of the other two. With a murderous glow in my eyes, I jump towards another, cutting it across the face. While the other wolf tries to circle me, I finish of the half-dead one. I take out a match, light it, and shove it into the last ones' eye, making it combust into flames.

With the last one dead, I turn to the filly, who was cowering in place she last stood. "It's okay. They're dead. They won't hurt you, and neither will I." I tell her in a soft voice. My body starts to twitch, and I crumple to the floor, along with the dead wolves.

Although I was unconscious, I could think, which made me rule out the probability I was dead. But one thing bugged me: the filly. Why'd I protect her? What's happening? I can't let this happen. I won't lose control.

 _ **Scootaloo's Point of View**_

What's happening? The timber wolves should've killed him! He used magic! He's not even a Unicorn! Who- what is he? As I was pacing around, I hear the familiar sound of clopping hooves, and I see Rainbow Dash burst through the trees, along with Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. They gasp when they see BcbcI'm unharmed, and the three Timber Wolves were dead, one still burning faintly.

"Scoots, I don't even know what happened, and I don't want to know. Anyways, have you seen a bipedal creature, black mane that down to the bottom of his head, white flesh, red eye? We were sent after him to capture him and bring him to Celestia, where he'll be put in the dungeon." Rainbow asks me, and I look at her in horror. The creature I saw exactly matches that description, and he saved me. "Ummm... Nope! Have not seen anything like that." I reply nervously, but Applejack doesn't look convinced. "How do you explain the fire?" She asks, waiting for a response. "A manticore walked in, and caused a spark by scraping his claws against a rock?" I continue my false interpretation of what happened.

When they finally give up trying to get information out of me, they start to look elsewhere.

 _ **The Human. (Ran out of fucked up names for him. ;-; )**_

Groaning once more, I wake up from unconsciousness, rubbing my hand through my hair, wondering wether this is reality, or just me tripping balls. My attention turns to something else: I am not in the forest, neither in my house. I am in a small house. One made of wood. One surrounded by apple trees. Don't know how I got here, but I am not going to question it. I lay my head in my hands, and try to sleep, until I hear voices from outside the little house. There were three, all of which I didn't recognize. They sounded young...

When I noticed the voices started to get closer, I panic. I noticed my stuff was still with me, so I was glad about that. But besides that, if anyone found out I was here, I would probably be sent back to Celestia. That would be a no no in my case, so I got back on my feet, and started to look for a place to hi-

 _Creeak..._

Too late. In first walks in a pale yellow filly with a red mane, next a small flilly who looks like the pony I used as a springboard. Lastly, that orange filly who I 'protected' from the wolves.

"Um... Hi?" I say with a hint of nervousness. The orange one was smiling faintly, while the others either had a frown or a glare. "Apple Bloom, this... uh..." The orange one walks up to me and whispers. "Uh.. what are you?" I shake my head. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay." I say, already knowin' the orange one would offer to keep me here. "Why not?" The smile on the orange ones' face falters. "Do you know what the punIshment for harboring a fugitive is? A maximum of up to three years in prison. I don't want that to happen to you, plus I can support myself. You don't have to worry about me. I will be fine... For a while." I try to reassure her.

Wait.

I'm trying to reassure her?

NO!

I can't... I won't let it happen again... I can't...

Steeling my nerves, I get up, and start to walk out of the miniature house. I then feel little hooves on my leg. "You CAN'T go right now." Sunny-D persists. "Applejack, the orange pony with blonde hair, works here, and she'll beat the feathers outta you if you go out." She warns, and I scoff. "I'd like to see her try." I say bored, but my emotions shift. "But, I guess I can stay here for a little while. Just don't touch my stuff, and we're cool." I say uncertainly, not wanting to get close to her.

I just go into a corner, and ball up, head in knees. I never wanted to be this... She can't end up like the others...

 _ **Hey guys, Badass here, and thank you for reading the latest installment of A New Leaf. Let me tell you something; our human WON'T be getting closer or moderately close to anyone anytime soon. He is only coming out of the first shell : Laughter.**_

 _ **That doesn't necessarily mean he won't be an asshole. What? You expected him to turn into Good Cop? Nope.**_

 _ **I bet you guys are guessing about how he will react to Pinkie. Hint: it won't end well.**_

 _ **As always, constructive criticism is and will be appreciated.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys, Badass here, and I'm proud to present-**_

 _ **"Hi! I'm Pinkie! When can I meet *****? "**_

 _ **Ugh... Pinkie, just to let you know, he will hate you with every fiber of his being. Also, refrain from saying his name, I had too censor it out so people didn't figure it out before I want them to. Anyways, relatively soon. Now get out of here before I make you die a gruesome death like I plan for Rarity in a separate story.**_

 _ **Anyways, sorry about that. Pinkie wanted to get in on the story sooner. I don't really want to be a cupcake...**_

 _ **Warning: this chapter will have some dark themes in it, and may be a trigger to those with suicidal tendencies, or those who suffer from depression. I will put a warning before it, and tell you to stop reading then. Reason I'm putting this in? I don't want to harm those who fit the categories more than they already are.**_

A few minutes later and I'm out like a rock. This 'house' was surprisingly comfortable, if not lacking in decor.

 _ **Scootaloo's Point of View**_

He's still out, and the others had something to do. My mind is more focused on the sleeping creature. Sometimes he looks uncomfortable, and he starts to twitch, grabbing for his little sword. Other times he is just laying still... I wonder if he would mind if...

 _ **Thirty minutes later, Humans point of view.**_

 _ **Warning: Stop reading here if you match the categories above.**_

I was sleeping 'till I heard the sound of five hooves galloping near the house. So far, this day has been me sleeping, waking up, running, hiding, sleeping, then about to be caught. I am trying to get up, but something is holding me back.

Is it fear?

Am I giving up?

Have I simply lost the will to live?

Yes. Yes I have.

I pick up the knife that has saved me so many times, and times again...

And put it at my chest.

"Heh... I guess I lost this battle, haven't I?" I chuckle darkly. "Without being overly cliche, goodbye cruel world..." I continue, and plunge my hands into my chest. Time slows down, and the worlds' color fades. I drop to the floor, in a pool of blood. The last thought I think before going unconscious is 'I'm sorry...'.

 _ **Third person, CMC Clubhouse.**_

As Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie walked up the stairs to the treehouse, Twilight noticed Scootaloo drawing on the patio. "Hey, Scootaloo, we need to talk." Twilight says in a half-cheery, half-serious voice. "Sure! About what? New idea for getting our cutie mark?" Scootaloo replies, and Twilight motions towards the door. "Uh... Can we talk about this in another place?" Scootaloo asks, getting a bad feeling about this. "Absolutely not! We know abo-" Rarity starts, then gets interrupted. "Umm girls, we have a little situation here, one that's not filly-appropriate." Rainbow Dash says in a queasy voice.

 _ **Somewhere not enjoyable for most people who don't like burning alive and getting sawed open/tortured. Hey, if you're into that thing, I don't judge.**_

 _"You failed, ******. You know what that means... ADELE AND JUSTIN BEIBER FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY!"_

 _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

 _ **Just kidding! Here's the real story. Couldn't resist.**_

 _ **P.S. Adele and/or Justin Beiber don't sue me. XD**_

"Umm... We got a situation here... One that's not filly-appropriate." Rainbow Dash says queasy, and then comes in Applejack. "I reckon we bring him to the hospital?" Twilight nods, and Rarity promptly faints at the sight of so much blood. Pinkie's hair is flat, and is a almost purple hade of pink.

"Applejack, why aren't you crying?" Pinkie asks. "I cry on the inside." Applejack responds, and before Scootaloo can peek in to see, Twilight teleports the filly to Pinkie's gingerbread house, and then teleports the crew to Ponyville Hospital, and starts to search for a nurse...

 _ **Two weeks later, Scootaloo' s point of view..**_

"Why, Twilight, WHY?!" I cry out, not believing what I was hearing. "He's dangerous and unpredictable. He can't stay and potentially hurt or kill somepony!" I look at her with anger. "All he has ever done was save me from three Timber Wolves, promised not to hurt me, and ruined Rarity's mane! He hasn't hurt one of us yet! Look what he did to himself! Looks more like he's trying to kill HIMSELF rather than us!" I get an idea. "Why don't we go ask him? We will get his point of view!" I suggest, and then we were off to the Canterlot Dungeon...

 _ **OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'M SO SORRY! I haven't uploaded in two weeks.**_

 _ **Reason one: Writers Block.**_

 _ **Second reason: Phone being a Jackass.**_


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